Wednesday, February 22, 2006













I bought this kimomo undergarment today when I was vintage clothing shopping. It's the silk robe you wear under the kimono so your body oils don't destroy the actual kimono. Do I have a kimono, you ask? No, I don't. I simply cannot afford one at this time. (Cheap ones start at $500-$1000.) So, to satiate my urge to get one, I though the vintage undergarment would be nice because it is still the kimono shape. It looks very innocent from far away, but if you look closer, this is what you'll see.

It's fantastic in every way, shape and form. And, very useful if I ever want to use this an a robe. It's kind of like having a copy of kama sutra laying on your bedside table.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

candy

I have found something I love about Japan. Today, for Valentine's Day, I did not get one disgusting sugary candy heart. Instead, I got a box of chocolate cigarettes. Somehow, this brings a smile to my face, even though I am a non-smoker. That would definately not go over well in the US.

Monday, February 13, 2006

stuff

If anyone wants anything Japany, tell me soon cuz my days here are numbered. You all should know my email, and if you don't, there is probably a reason for it.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

V Day

Well, Christmas was here and gone as well as my two weeks in London. Christmas was terribly depressing, and I ended up eating a store-bought barbequed drumstick and some steamed yams for my Christmas feast. London was lovely, except for the weather, but I am convinced the weather is never lovely in London, so no disappointment there.

It is quickly approaching Valentine's Day, and of course, the Japanese have overdone it again. Since the day after New Year's Day (otherwise known as Jan. 2) the stores appear to have been vomited in by Hallmark. I can't turn an aisle without seeing something red-and-pink heart shaped. Also, apparently Valentine's Day is also known and National-Bake-A-Cake Day. Every department store has huge displays of make-it-yourself cookies, cakes and brownies, all appropriately Valentine-y.

The problem is, almost no one in Japan owns an oven, just a range. So, all of these premixed dry batters are for the microwave. Apparently, the notion of baking is still a foreign notion, because all of these stores have video and in-store demonstrations on how to put two eggs, some milk and water into the batter, stir, and plop into the microwave for 15 min. My second point is this: who wants a microwave cake? I made microwave brownies once in college and they tasted like microwave brownies. I would much rather have my cake taste like store bought.

And another thing...did you know Valentine's Day is only for women to give men presents, microwave cake and chocolates? Men don't give anything. Lucky bastards.

Dunno what else to talk about. Japan is as always Japan. I am coming home in late March. It would have been earlier, but I got a hinie pounding by the company for reasons I will not discuss here. Meh. (And here is where I would type some vulgar kanji if I knew any.)

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

germ farming

I have been a bit lax in my blogging and for that I apologize. I guess the strangeness of Tokyo is just becoming ingrained in me.

I have had a chronic cold since October, and it is my belief that my constant illness is from all the gooey germ farms (aka children) that I am forced to teach on a daily basis. I don't know what it is with Japanese children, but they do not cover their mouths when they cough or sneeze. I can just see all the disgustingness disseminating from their lips as they sneeze. As soon as I do this, I try to remind them to cover their mouths by fake coughing and covering my mouth. It has not worked, however. Upon observing the adults I teach, they do not cover their mouths either. It's just yucky and unsanitary. But, when I leave this island, I will have an extremely strong uber immune system---superflu I dare you.

Christmas is coming and I am working. Because my company sucks, I am not given any Japanese holidays off, but I am not given any Western holidays off either. To make matters worse, I found out that all the Japanese staff at work is awarded a year-end bonus whereas none of the foreign staff is. I am going to be an absolute evil spiteful person when I wake up on Christmas morning and have to haul my ass on a crowded train to go teach English at 10am to people who think Christmas is a holiday for lovers. Here, Christmas is treated like a more expensive Valentine's Day. Couples exchange expensive jewelry and watches, eat "Christmas Cake" (did you know the traditional Christmas Cake was strawberry shortcake?) and go out for a very expensive evening on the town. There are several stores that sell "Christmas Outfits" which are ho-ed up versions of a Santa costume. They generally consist of red or gold velvet miniskirts with white rabbit trim and some sort of velvet tank top with a fur trimmed hood---and of course black thigh high boots and red fence post stockings. These are going-out-fits, not the kind to keep in the boudoir. I am sure on Christmas Day I will discover even more atrocities commited in the name of Santa Claus. I'll keep you posted.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

octopus

So we had a fairly large party for my 25th birthday...about forty friends of mine rented out a room at a bar here. We had an all-you-can-drink special so everyone was in a good mood-myself included. This is what prompted me to eat--get this--raw octopus. It isn't so bad when you are drunk...it is merely a mouth feel because it was coated in a liquid wasabi which could mask almost any other flavor. Most Japanese food is eaten, I am convinced not because of the actual food, but because of the sauce which is on it.

The following day, my real birthday, I flew to Hong Kong with my roommate Nicole. Hong Kong was incredible. It was everything I expected Tokyo to be, but isn't. All the people have some English knowledge, so I could order or take a cab or go shopping without having to do some crazy contortionist sign language. Also, they actually have street signs...on every street I might add and to make it even better they are written in both English and Kanji. It really brought a tear to my eye.

To save you on the boring details of my trip, the best thing I saw was Cirque du Soleil.

In a nutshell, it is a fantastic city for someone who wants to see "East meets West" in a friendly, anglo-loving environment.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

juicy stains

Dude-o-rama.

I am over half finished with my Japanese escapades and I haven't left the city of Tokyo. It is too expensive to travel in Japan. As I may have said before, it is more expensive to take the Shinkansen (bullet train) inside of Japan than it is for me to fly off this island to a foreign land. Which is exactly what I plan on doing for my birthday. That's right, next month, I am taking a little Hong Kong excursion.

If anyone has ever thought that American bugs are disgusting, they haven't seen Japanese bugs. For a country who is well-known for its miniature proportions, they sure do have the nastiest/largest vermon I have ever encountered. When I first arrived here, I thought there were hawks flying around in the sky, which really surprised me. Upon second glance, I noticed it was all black. It was a crow. A huge awful man-eating crow with tallons. Standing, it came up to at least my knee.

Another vermon is the bed bug. I had the misfortune of getting these in early September. They are common, I am guessing, by the amount of bed bug bombs they sell in every pharmacy. It had me creeped out/grossed out for several weeks. For about a week, I was waking up every morning with what appeared to be mosquito bites...despite having closed my screens and windows every evening. My roommate finally clued me into the fact it was probably bedbugs and then I spent the next few nights creeped out, not being able to sleep in my bed, wondering how to get rid of them. Then I went to the pharmacy and found something that looked like a dead bug on the canister, assumed it had to be a bug bomb, and then set it off in my room, after imagining the instructions which were only written in kanji.

The last vermon is the cockroach. They are about as common as the housefly. Everyone has them, despite cleanliness or uncleanliness. I thought my apartment was doing really well because during peak cockroach season this summer, we didn't see a single one. However, Monday night I looked up on my ceiling to see a 3" one. I killed it with a book (big mistake) and it left a huge juicy green blood stain running down my wall. It looked like someone killed a turtle. Truely repugnant.